The Omniscient Cancer Bitch

I was editing on my computer at Cafe Avanti Saturday night. A young man came in with a slight accent and ordered and lo! when the order was ready, he decided to ask if the cafe took credit cards. No. So the barista said to go ahead and take the food and drink, and the guy said next time he was there he would repay the $5.

So Monday I was in the same place, with my same laptop, when the young man came back. He asked how much different drinks cost ($1.93? with tax?) and chose a cheap drink. He didn't seem about to offer to pay back the money, so I boldly asked, from my chair, so everyone could hear: Aren't you the guy who said he was going to pay back $5?

He was surprised. I explained that I saw all and knew all. He told the barista that "this lady" had reminded him and he explained how he owed the money (it was a different barista), and I think he assumed I worked there. I do feel like I work there because I've been going there for at least 12 years, probably longer. I organized two art shows by Avanti regulars, and I've gotten to know all but the most recently hired baristas. B & S's son worked there last summer. There was a time when I would go there and always see someone I knew. I know one person who stopped going there when he needed to do work because he'd spend all his time talking. Then a number of people fell away for a number of reasons. It would have made for a great sit-com but only one sit-com-like thing happened. It was this: Customer F was lactose intolerant and always ordered cappuccino with soy milk. She was amazed that barista E made such great foam. (You already see where this is going.) Then one day she discovered the secret to his great soy foam: He used regular dairy milk to make it. When this was discovered, the guy did not apologize to her. So he was fired.

This is why I don't write for TV.

1 comment:

Sam said...

If you are still looking for book title suggestions: Since “Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips” has already been taken (by Kris Carr and Sheryl Crow), why not try a variation of “When Life Hands You Cancer…. Throw a Breast Party”

Good luck with the book.