I Am Milked

You can be, too. You can try it at home. Put cream on your nipple to soften it. Cover with a plastic see-through band-aid. Over that lay a warmed purple velvety bag filled with stale-bordering-on-rancid flax seeds. After 10 minutes have someone come in and wipe off the cream with a cloth, roughly but nicely. "I'm clearing away dead skin," she'll say, "like a facial." Then get her to massage the nipple, from just outside the areola, then closer in. Have her put a little suction on the nipple and apply pressure. Then watch as 4cc of thin yellowish liquid comes out of your nipple. She'll collect it in a tube.

If you do it at Fancy Hospital, you'll receive $50 in the mail.in a couple of weeks. If you do it at home, no telling.

It's not *really* milk--this will not qualify you for a new line of work as a wet nurse.

Yes, folks, this is what I did, as part of a study to see if there's a relationship between breast cancer risk and hormone levels in nipple fluid. When I was first asked to participate, I was hesitant, but then L said, "It might help someone. I told this to the physician assistant who was massaging (the proper term, not "milking") my nipple and she said something like, "Yeah, sometimes husband say smart things." I said loyally, "I have a very good husband." I haven't had him as a husband for even three years yet; it seems way too soon to joke about him in a general oh-those-husbands way.


Anonymous said...

I've just (today) turned here from Chronicbabe (not knowing why Chronicbabe avoids cancer as a subject) and wonder how the milk-like yellowish discharge corelates to breast cancer.

Cancer Bitch said...

I was brief because I didn't think people would want to know the tech. details, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to explain it concisely. Here's info, from the consent form for the study: "There is evidence to suggest that women with higher estrogen exposure ... more often develop a type of breast cancer that is hormone receptor positive, which means that hormones in the body help the cancer grow. The purpose of this study is to determine if there is a relationship between hormone levels in nipple fluid to breast cancer risk..."

Anonymous said...

thank you for that. I've been poked and prodded since my teens and the discharge has been hummed and hawed about but I've never known why. I've had the discharged for al of my twenty-some adult years and just thought it a normal abnormality.

How are you?

Cancer Bitch said...

Hi. I never had this fluid before, until it was coaxed or massaged out of me. I seem to be OK. Do you have breast cancer or other breast disease?

Anonymous said...

No, I don't; my Doctor has had me have a mammogram annually since I was twenty.

I have a SO who has leukemia and he lost someone to breast cancer.